Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 1 - 7, 2013
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PEOPLE
New Yorker Insinuates Bert and Ernie Are Gay
“News to me,” says Elmo.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Samsung Begins Selling 55-Inch OLED TVs That Can Be Viewed Equally Well From Any Angle
And still, there's nothing good on.
 
BUSINESS
California Going After Life Insurance Companies for Not Notifying Beneficiaries That They Can Collect, Not Paying Them, Continuing to Charge Deceased Monthly Premiums Until All the Money is Gone
State also reconsidering cancellation of Ethics classes in Business Schools.
Taco Bell to Market Some “Taco Meat Fillings” as “Protein”
On advice of their lawyers.
TECHNOLOGY
UK Study: Internet Access as Important to Men as Sex
Most men looking for a woman with Wi-Fi.
Warning in iTunes Agreement Prohibits Using Product to Make Nuclear Weapons
Or more than five copies of Justin Bieber.
 
SCIENCE
Research: Helicopter Can Be Controlled by Thought
Employs techniques, technology patented by Association of Super Villains.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Fracking Linked to Water Contaminated With Methane
Best not to drink tap water and smoke until problem fixed.
 
ENVIRONMENT
At Idled San Onofre Nuke Plant Scheduled for Permanent Closure, Layoffs Begin
Including Homer Simpson.

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