Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUG 26 - SEP 1, 2013
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ENTERTAINMENT
Mario Bros. Rock Opera to Make Its New York Stage Debut
Producer had hit last year with brooding two-character drama, Waiting for Pac-Man.
 
EDUCATION
Fewer Law School Grads Finding Jobs, But Still Have Huge Debt to Pay Off
Class action lawsuit TBA.
 
BUSINESS
Disney/ABC to Shed 175 Jobs
TV news will now be delivered by animatronic anchormen.
Following Complaints, Ford Cuts Estimated MPG on C-Max Hybrid
Says previous estimate based on downhill mileage.
Monopoly Empire Replaces Familiar Properties With Major Corporate Brand Names
Coming soon: Monopoly Bankrupt featuring Enron, Pan Am and, instead of Boardwalk, Lehman Brothers.
SCIENCE
Review of 63 Scientific Studies: Atheists Smarter Than Believers
But, believers say, according to The Bible, they're smarter.
Yawning Contagious Between
Dogs, Owners

And, in rare cases, licking one's genitals.
 
Astronomers Discover Planet of Boiling Lava With an Eight-Hour Year
And lots of hot New Years Eve parties.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Staring at Our Smartphones Hurts Our Eyesight
Suggests blinking occasionally.
Google Glass App Designed to Read Emotions
Wearer can just observe someone and within seconds see readout flashing “First Base,” “Second Base,” “Third Base,” or “Book a Room.”

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