Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 9 - 15, 2013
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PEOPLE
Kim Jong-un's Ex-Girlfriend Executed by Firing Squad
Breaking up is hard to do.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Producers Encounter Unexpected Obstacles to Reviving “All My Children,” “One Life to Live” on Internet
Like fact that stars are now between 86 and 107 years old.
 
BUSINESS
Good News: To Speed Up Work
And Save Money, Boeing Will
Use Robots to Build 777X

Non-union robots.
Google to Provide Starbucks With Extra-Fast Wi-Fi
Hyper-caffeinated clientele hyper-sensitive to sluggish downloads.
Texas Becomes More Eco-Conscious
Right: oil pump powered by clean, renewable wind energy.
SCIENCE
Report: Nearly One-Fifth of Scientists Considering Abandoning U.S.
Due to persecution by religious zealots.
Study: Fecal Bacteria From
Thin Humans Has Slimming
Effect on Mice

Breakthrough could mean one day mice will be able to eat all the cheese they want.
 
Archeologists Discover 5000-Year-Old Board Game Pieces in Turkey
Beside skeleton with bludgeoned skull.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
1 in 25 Americans Use Sleeping Pills
After spending all day at Starbucks.
Study: With Practice, Older People Can Learn to Multitask
Like adding detergent to the washer while at the same time adding detergent to the washer.
“Cliteracy Project” Aims to Promote Discussion About Female Body Part
Outside of boys' locker rooms.

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