Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 16 - 22, 2013
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PEOPLE
Kanye West Performs at Kazakhstan Dictator's Grandson's Wedding
It's believed he received monetary compensation.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Disney World Announces Air-
Conditioned Waiting Areas
Where Kids Can Play on Slides
While Waiting With Their
Parents to Go on Rides

Say idea inspired by Purgatory.
 
BUSINESS
Dow Jones Average: Nike, Goldman Sachs, Visa Replace BofA, Alcoa, HP
Who are sent down to minors.
Airlines Made $27 Billion in Fees, Non-Fare Revenue Last Year
No need to sell tickets.
Twitter Tweets Intention to File for IPO
Shares will be sold to first 50 million clever quips.
SCIENCE
Voyager I Becomes First Manmade Object to Leave Solar System
Expected to eventually plant seed for infinite number of civilizations that worship either Chuck Berry or Carl Sagan.
Study: Gold Comes From Colliding Dead Stars
But more commonly, from deceased relatives.
Researchers: Men Yield to
Temptation Due to “Intensity
Of Their Sexual Impulses”

“No clue” what makes women yield.
 
Recent Excavations at Stonehenge Show Site Had Nothing to Do With Sun Worship
It was simply a dump for large stones.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Companies Offering E-Cigarettes in Cotton Candy, Bubble Gum, Atomic Fireball Flavors
To appeal to adults.

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