Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 23 - 29, 2013
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ENTERTAINMENT
Grand Theft Auto V Breaks Sales Record
Latest version packs “just the right mix of mindless murder and misogyny,” says one reviewer.
 
BUSINESS
JPMorgan Admits it Broke Laws
Jamie Dimon says to SEC, “Iím so sorry baby, I swear itíll never happen again, you know I love you.”
Tesla Developing Self-Driving Sedan
For the man who has everything except a drivers license.
Several Banks Deemed Too Big to Fail Now Even Bigger
Officially Way Too Big to Fail.
$800 Million Salvage Effort Rights Cruise Ship Costa Concordia
In time for passengers to board for 3-day cruise to Sardinia.
SCIENCE
NASA: After Year of Looking, Mars Rover Has Found No Sign of Life
It wants to come home.
Physicists Discover Amplituhedron, Geometric Object That Suggests Space, Time Not Fundamental Components of Reality
Object also suggests it was discovered 50 years too late to be basis for great “Star Trek” episode.
Microscopic Images Reveal Planthopper Insects Have Gears
Hailed as Steampunk Animal of the Year.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Time: Google Trying to Solve Death
To assure a steady flow of advertising dollars.

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