Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEP 30 - OCT 6, 2013
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PEOPLE
Pope: Atheists Can Be Redeemed if They “Do Good”
Like, say, give money to the Church.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
China's Richest Man to Spend $8.2 Billion Building China's Version of Hollywood
Spending $820 million on agents alone.
 
BUSINESS
Nineteen Companies That Post Fake Reviews Agree to Settlement
“Best settlement ever!” says one online commenter.
AIG CEO Says Criticism of Large Bonuses “Just as Bad” as Lynching
Except without the noose, the sudden breaking of the neck and spinal cord and the fact you still have the $5.8 million they gave you for Christmas.
Burger King Introduces Lower Calorie French Fries
So go ahead and supersize those.
SCIENCE
Estimate: 15-30 Billion Earth-Like Planets in Our Galaxy
But none would be expected to have that rare combination of perfect climate and a dominant species so dumb that it would destroy it.
NASA Funding Research Into 3D-Printed Food
Hopes to turn Tang into an orange.
 
 
Blobfish Voted World's Ugliest Animal
Saddened, outraged they demand a recount.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Report: Obesity Rates May Have Peaked
You, in particular, are looking slimmer.
McDonald's Introduces Healthier Menus
In case the First Lady shows up.

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