Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEP 30 - OCT 6, 2013
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MISCELLANEOUS
Shocker: More Than Half of American Dogs Overweight
According to best seller, Why Fido Can't Fetch.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Bill Gates Says Control-Alt-Delete
A Mistake

Still working on a fix.
 
TRENDS
More Patients Now Tweeting
Their Surgeries

Finally, a reason to open a Twitter account.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
New York Places “Text Stops” Along State Highways
There are also designated areas for sexting.
FEATURE
British aviation officials are pondering how to respond to a survey showing 56% of British pilots fell asleep at the controls, and 29% found when they woke up, co-pilots were also asleep. Best solution so far:
A )Train flight attendants to land planes in a pinch.
B )Provide porn videos in cockpit pilots haven’t seen before.
C )Extra bonuses for staying awake for entire flight.
D )Skip time-consuming pre-flight safety check.
Hint: If the engines start, the fuel level points to “full,” everything else is probably okay.

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