Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOV 25 - DEC 1, 2013
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TECHNOLOGY
Digital Lollipop Simulates All Primary Taste Sensations
Future model will also stain your tie.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Survey: 40% of Women Would Rather Give Up Sex For a Year Than Be Without Their Cellphone For a Weekend
Among married women it's 100%.
 
SPORTS
Report: 2022 World Cup Stadiums in Dubai Being Built by Forced Labor
But nine years from now each of those forced laborers, or their next of kin, will receive a free ticket to an early round game.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Charles Manson to Marry
Plans small wedding, with just family.
JPMorgan Chase agreed to a $13 billion settlement with the government over fraud selling shoddy mortgage investments, the biggest payout in U.S. history. This agreement was
A )a tough display of new aggressiveness from the Justice Department in demanding accountability from the banks.
B )a big break for people still struggling to pay underwater mortgages.
C )a sweetheart deal.
Hint: stock in JPMorgan Chase went up .7% on announcement of the deal. What does that tell you?

Who said “Newspapers are dying, and thatís not a bad thing.”
A )The Koch brothers
B )The Marx brothers
C )Wyoming Senatorial hopeful Liz Cheney
Hint: She won't be a bridesmaid at her sister's wedding.

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