Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 6 - 12, 2014
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MISCELLANEOUS
Kanye West Introduces New Virtual Currency, Coinye West, to Compete With Bitcoin
Not to be confused with JayzDollas, Eminemoney and 50Cents.
Florida to Pass New York in Population
New York's sewers will still have more alligators.
 
TECHNOLOGY
NSA Building Quantum Computer That Can Crack Any Kind of Encryption
Will be available as an app in 2016.
 
FACTOID
300 Wealthiest Individuals on Earth Have $3.7 Trillion
They meet once a year in a strip mall in the Cayman Islands, where they all have post office boxes.
 
SPORTS
Brazil in Race With Poor Planning, Criminal Negligence, Widespread Corruption, to Complete Stadiums in Time for World Cup
Poor planning, criminal negligence, widespread corruption favored to win.
On IMAX or iPhone, do not miss these “Best of the Best Films of 2014”
Same Sex Bride of Frankenstein - Funny to some, scary to others, this timely tale is a likeable mish-mosh of bad ideas and good set design.
50 Shades of Miley Cyrus - an uninhibited romp/tongue-in-cheek homage to pedophilia that strives mightily to twerk your interest.
Hobbit IV: The Interminable Journey - Peter Jackson's four-hour slog through mind-boggling special effects and mind-numbing dialogue.
Sex Toy Story - Make no mistake, this instant classic from Disney's Adult Animation Division will do for dildos what Nemo did for fish.
Also in 2014: Old Lady Chatterley - the long-awaited sequel to 1977's “Young Lady Chatterley.” The Final End - billed as the end of the world movie to end all end of the world movies. National Lampoon's Funeral - Chevy Chase is hilarious as the corpse in this one-joke confection.
As usual, the opinions expressed herein by Mr. Movie are paid for and not his own.

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