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Ironic Times

 NO. 696 “Expect the Ironic” JANUARY 13 - 19, 2014 

Jan 6
Jan 20
WATER PERFECTLY FINE IN WEST VIRGINIA
As long as it's bottled, says Gary Southern (shown), president of chemical company responsible for spill that has left 300,000 West Virginians without water for nearly a week.
 
WORLD NEWS
A Frail 87-Year-Old Fidel Castro Makes Rare Public Appearance
Delivers brief, eight-hour address.
Britain to Introduce
Plastic Money in 2016

In 2017: brightly colored beads.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Insane Clown Posse Sues Justice Dept. Over Gang Designation
Claim it's deprived them of their livelihood, entertaining at children's birthday parties.
U. S. NEWS
N.J. Gov. Christie Cuts Fare on
George Washington Bridge

Hands out candy at toll booths.
In Book, Former Secretary of
Defense Gates Calls Vice
President Biden “Clueless”

Biden: “What's that supposed to mean?”
 
REMINDER
  Keep your medical and recreational marijuana separate.
 
Target Now Says 110 Million
Accounts Hacked

As a result, it could take weeks before hackers start stealing from you.
NASA to Extend Life of
Space Station

As boutique spa for the rich.
Kraft Warns of Possible
Velveeta Shortage

Advises consumers to stockpile.
 
EDUCATION
Study: Attractive Students
Given Higher Grades

Unattractive kids go into teaching.
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