Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 13 - 19, 2014
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PEOPLE
Dennis Rodman: “I Love My Friend” Kim Jong-Un
He “treats me like an uncle.”
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Urges Canada to Legalize Marijuana
Would also initiate dialogue on “medical crack.”
 
BUSINESS
Study: Bosses Happier Than
Their Employees

Most employees not the least bit happy.
Coke's “Cap the Tap” Program Encourages Restaurants to Serve Soda Instead of Water
Its “Hold the Greens” program encourages them to serve popcorn in place of vegetables.
Elio Motors New $6,800 3-Wheeled Auto Saves on Initial Cost, MPG
And tires.
SCIENCE
Universe Measured to Within
1% Accuracy

Which is better than the sweatpants you ordered online.
List Whittled Down to 1000 Eligible Applicants for One-Way Trip to Mars
Eliminated: old, infirm, anyone who plays the banjo, harmonica or accordion.
Study: People Who Drink
More Are Smarter

Except in your case.
 
Stonehenge Man Created From Prehistoric Skull Reconstruction
He's being wooed by several top modeling agencies.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Dialing, Texting or Using
Cellphone While Driving Raises
Risk of Crash

Even worse: trying to eat a taco while driving.

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