Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 20 - 26, 2014
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MISCELLANEOUS
Westminster Kennel Club to Allow Mixed- Breed Dogs at Pre-Show Agility Contest
During show, mutts won't be allowed within three blocks of Madison Square Garden.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Report: Smart Appliances Hacked to Send Computer Viruses
Warning: don't answer any emails from your toaster.
Report: NSA Intercepts 200 Million Text Messages a Day
And yes, your wife picked up milk on her way home.
 
SPORTS
Major League Baseball Approves Expansion of Instant Replay
Fans who can't keep up with frantic pace of game will be pleased.
Chicago Cubs Unveil First Mascot in Team's History
In lieu of a new starting pitcher.
FEATURE
Freedom Industries, the chemical company responsible for the toxic spill in West Virginia that poisoned the water of 300,000 residents, takes its name from:
A )Freedom from any inspections or regulations.
B )Freedom from oversight from responsible officials.
C )Freedom to do whatever they damn well please because itís West Virginia.
Hint: you may choose all of the above.
 
EDUCATION
Most College Athletes Read at an Elementary School Level
But get great grades nonetheless.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
No Pants Week Continues
Don't get caught with your pants on.

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