Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JAN 27 - FEB 2, 2014
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TECHNOLOGY
New Watch Tells You How Much Time You Have Left to Live
If stolen, calibrates thief's lifespan.
 
SPORTS
NFL May Drop Extra Point, Allow Pot to Treat Concussions
According to new league rules voted on by fans.
Warren Buffett Offers $1 Billion to Anyone With Perfect NCAA Bracket
If 59 people fill out perfect brackets, he's broke.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Four NASA Scientists Begin Recreating Life on Mars in Desolate Area of Utah
Researchers (l to r) Bob, Carol, Ted, Alice will spend years on simulated red planet.
FEATURE
Star Scientific, a former cigarette manufacturer which makes dietary supplements they claim can help treat diseases such as Alzheimer's and multiple sclerosis, is also:
A )The 2013 recipient of the New England Journal of Medicine's award for Most Outstanding Achievement in Medical Resarch.
B )On the CDCís list of Top Ten Most Innovative Drug Companies.
C )Accused in a federal indictment handed down last week of bribing former GOP Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell with $120,000 in gifts to get his help promoting their products despite a lack of data to support their claims.
Hint: why would anybody doubt a former cigarette manufacturer that makes miracle cure dietary supplements?
 
CRIME
Arrest Made in 1978
“Goodfellas” Heist

Could lead to arrest in “The Godfather” hit.

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