 GOP INSIDERS
LEANING TOWARD JEB BUSH IN 2016
But not sure he'll be willing to change
his last name. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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G-8 Summit in Russia Cancelled,
Renamed G-7 to Meet in Brussels
“G-8 Summit” hats, t-shirts
donated to children in Africa. |
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Ukrainian Women Withholding Sex From
Russian Men Until Crimean Takeover Ends
Ukrainian men say “the hell with Crimea.” |
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Germany: Customs Officials
Seize Condoms Stuffed With
Cocaine Bound for Vatican
To be used for God knows what. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Every Man in North Korea
Required to Get a Kim
Jong-un Haircut
Every man in Freedonia required
to get a Rufus T. Firefly haircut. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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New Jersey: Probe Finds Christie
“Blameless” in Bridgegate
He “didn't know nothin' about nothin',”
concludes investigation conducted
by his good friend's law firm, which
billed the state $1 million. |
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Northwestern Football
Players Win Right to Unionize
Armed with clubs, university
goons try to break up their first meeting. |
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| REMINDER |
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Friends don't let friends take multivitamins. |
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Survey: Half of Americans Believe
Medical Conspiracy Theories
Other half think it's all a plot concocted by lawyers. |
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| LEISURE |
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Monopoly Might Incorporate
Popular Variations to Game Rules
Like downing a shot every time
you land on Free Parking, or
removing an article of clothing
every time you pass Go. |
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