Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 7 - 13, 2014
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MISCELLANEOUS
Goblet in Spanish Church is Holy Grail, Says New Book
With other Holy Grail claims across Europe, experts now believe Jesus gave them out as Last Supper souvenirs.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Study: 6 in 10 Seniors Using Internet
They're responsible for vast majority of vile comments.
Proposed Supersonic Commercial Jet Will Have Video Screens Instead of Windows
Boring geometric farmland to be replaced by boring G-rated movies.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: Controversy Explodes Over Player Taking 2 Games Off for Maternity Leave
Old school critics say sitting on bench, spitting, yelling expletives more important than attending birth of first child.
Dodgers Sign Venezuelan Sensation
He'll report to their Double-A affiliate in Chattanooga once rioting ends.
FEATURE
Translation Challenge: Secretary of State John Kerry, asked about the possible early release of Jonathan Pollard, replied, “What is important to say about the Middle East right now is it is completely premature to draw any kind of judgment, certainly any final judgment, about todayís events and where things go.”
This means:
  A )No comment.
  B )Is it just me, or is it chilly in here?
  C )Hey, how about the Bruins?
Hint: best record in the NHL.
 
TRAVEL
Cost of Room Service, Dry Cleaning, Mini Bar Accessories Highest in Helsinki, Finland
One more reason, if you needed one, to not visit Finland.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Survey: March Madness Caused Nationís Productivity to Plunge to Lowest Level of the Year
Imperceptively slowing planet's rush to environmental collapse.

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