Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 21 - 27, 2014
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PEOPLE
Pope Francis's Popularity Hasn't Led to Increased Membership in Catholic Church
Just more likes on Facebook.
 
INTERNET
18% of Web-Browsing Adults Have Had Personal Information Stolen
Adults advised to avoid browsing web.
 
BUSINESS
Amazon to Pay Workers $5,000 to Quit
If they join Amazon Prime.
Mattel Blames 1st Quarter Loss on Weak Sales for Barbie
Especially Deeply Indebted Graduate Barbie.
Fired Yahoo! Exec Receives $58 Million Severance Package After Just 15 Months on Job
“Yahoo!” he exclaims, and files for unemployment.
SCIENCE
Astronomers Spot Most
Earth-Like Planet Yet

It might actually be Earth if space telescope got turned around accidentally.
 
Cherry Tree Grown From Pit Flown on Space Station Has Botanists Baffled
It matured in four years instead of ten and has organized botanists into a disciplined unit prepared to carry out its plan to colonize Earth.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Men Turn Grumpy at Age 70
They realize human interaction is now limited to 140 characters and they become morose.
 
RELIGION
Percentage of Americans Skeptical of The Bible Jumps to 19%
Same as for The Hobbit.

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