Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUL 21 - AUG 17, 2014
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HIGHLIGHTS OF 2014 (January - June)
Pole-Dancing Robots Could Presage Future of “Live” Entertainment
Nightclubs featuring sexy robots performing for humanoids arriving in driverless cars.
Washington, D.C. Decriminalizes Marijuana
It's now as legal for an adult to buy a joint as it is for a tobacco lobbyist to buy a congressman.
Southern California Has Less
Than One Tenth the Bank
Robberies it Had 20 Years Ago

Criminals now top executives at banks.
Study: 1 in 5 Army Recruits Has
Some Form of Mental Illness

Ratio climbs to 5 in 5 among those who re-enlist.
Millennials Present Problems for Economy's Future
They don't drive, they don't shop, they don't travel and they don't work.
Report: Climate Change May Cause “Cascading System Failures”
First the ice caps will melt, then the coasts will flood, then the power grid will go out, then the cable will go out — and that's when it gets serious.
Study: Half of U.S. Adults Use
Phones for Sexting

Shouldn't you?
Kim Kardashian Insures Her Finest Asset for $21 Million
But won't get a dime if something bad happens to her head.
Every Man in North Korea Required to Get a Kim Jong-un Haircut
Every man in Freedonia required to get a Rufus T. Firefly haircut.
Candidate Opposing Sisi in
Egypt Drops Out of Race,
Says He Was Directed to
Quit by God

Who appeared to him in the form of 12 heavily armed soldiers.
China Bans Eating Endangered Animals
Panda Express shutters.
Study: Umpires Get 14% of Non-Swinging Pitches Wrong
Suggests correcting problem by killing the umps.
New Jersey: Probe Finds Christie “Blameless” in Bridgegate
He “didn't know nothin' about nothin',” concludes investigation conducted by his good friend's law firm, which billed the state $1 million.
Report: $184 Billion Lost to Tax Havens
Money that could have gone to desperately needed military projects.
Percentage of Americans Skeptical of The Bible Jumps to 19%
Same as for The Hobbit.
Berlusconi Sentenced to One Year Community Service Working With Elderly
Court rejects his request to work with troubled teens.

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