Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 20 - 26, 2014
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PEOPLE
Kim Jong Un Appears in Public for First Time in Five Weeks
“Any mail for me?” he jokes.
New TV Doc: Hitler Addicted to Painkillers, Meth, Morphine
About to enter 12-step program when war ended.
 
BUSINESS
Starbucks Offers Chance to Win Free Starbucks for Life
You probably thought everyone in Starbucks already won Starbucks for life.
Market Volatility Blamed on Roller Coasters
Up-and-down behavior linked to repeated use of metaphor.
 
ADVERTISING
Mobile Ad in Moscow Causes 517 Traffic Accidents in One Day
It's an ad for car insurance.
SCIENCE
Holocene Epoch Ends,
Anthropocene Epoch Begins

Everyone agrees, it was a great 11,700 years.
Report Warns: Mars Colony
Would Last Only 68 Days

Just enough time to shoot two seasons of reality show.
 
Fish First to Have Sex 385 Million Years Ago
Humans first to boast about it.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Good News: U.S. Life Expectancy Soars to 78.8
Bad news: most are still driving.
Doctors: Google Glass an Addiction, Worse Withdrawal Symptoms Than Alcohol
Surprised by finding, Google ramps up production.

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