Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – NOVEMBER 10 - 16, 2014
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PEOPLE
Oklahoma's Inhofe, Global Warming Denier, Set to Chair Senate Environment Committee
“Curiouser and curiouser!” Cried Alice.
 
MEDIA
Amazon Launches Competitor
To Siri: Alexa

“Alexa, kill Siri.”
 
BUSINESS
New General Mills Legal Policy Prevents Customers From Suing Them
Company says savings from not having to hire lawyers go right back into their products.
McDonald's Rolls Out New Slogan: “Lovin' Beats Hatin'”
Replaces old slogan, “Eatin' Beats Hatin'.”
Pepsi Testing Doritos- Flavored Mountain Dew
It's aimed at people who are too cheap to buy Doritos.
SCIENCE
Surprising Number of Stars
No Longer Part of Galaxies

Similar to break up of studio system.
Study: The More One Needs
To Urinate, the Less One
Believes in Free Will

Conclusion reached by fifty philosophers locked in a conference room for twenty-four hours.
NASA Discovers “Super Massive” Black Hole
That's bigger than “incredibly gigantic” and “frighteningly humongous,” but smaller than “run for your lives.”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Sex With Many Partners
Reduces Men's Risk of
Prostate Cancer, Says Study

Study already cited in dozens of divorce cases.
Doubts Raised About Benefits of Drinking 3 Glasses of Milk a Day
Many felt, on top of eight glasses of water a day, bloated.

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