| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
Polish Town Rejects Naming Playground
After Winnie the Pooh Because of Bear's
Undefined Gender, Lack of Pants
And “not because Pooh Park sounds unsanitary.” |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
Researchers Have Already
Developed 3D Pizzas,
Hamburgers, Ravioli, Chocolate
But so far everything tastes like marzipan. |
|
Breakthrough: Software Capable
Of Recognizing, Describing
Content of Pictures
First step in building humanoid capable
of compiling a family photo album. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Qatar,
Tiny Country With Inhospitable Climate
That's Already Hosting 2022 World
Cup, Awarded 2019 World Track and
Field Championships
Puts world track and field officials in
same lofty tax bracket as World Cup
officials. |
| |
| KIDZ KORNER |
| Vocabulary
Builders |
| guest worker program -
a policy option popular with Republicans, it
works on a national level similar to how you'd
invite guests into your home for dinner, which
they would cook for you, you would eat it, then
they do the dishes, clean up the kitchen, and
go back home. |
|
|
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| Republicans are debating how
to respond to Obama’s Executive Action on Immigration.
As of today, the leading option is: |
| A ) | Have meeting
of Congressional caucus where differences can be settled
by fisticuffs. |
| B ) | Work out
reasonable compromise plan, start negotiating with
Democrats. |
| C ) | Pass
bipartisan bill already passed by the Senate. |
| D ) | Stall, bluster,
pontificate, grandstand, whine, and run out the clock. |
| Hint: also bloviate, sound off, rant,
rage, bully, and harangue. |
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| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 |
|
Spate of Loch Ness Monster
Sightings Blamed on Fallen
Tree Branch
And some very strong whiskey. |
|
