Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2014
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PEOPLE
Steve Jobs Testifies in Deposition Years After His Death
Defends Apple's business practices, then introduces three “amazing” new products.
 
BUSINESS
For First Time, Girl Scout
Cookies to Be Sold Online

Giving you an excuse to politely say “no” when confronted by the little brats.
Holiday Sales Disappointing
Most shoppers waiting until items they want discarded by rich people.
Harvard Economist: Lefties
Earn Less Than Righties

Except in baseball.
Amazon Warehouses Using Robots Instead of Humans to Sort Packages
However, union talk among robots may change all that.
SCIENCE
Disgraced and Broke, DNA Pioneer James Watson Auctions Off
His Nobel Prize for $4.1 Million

Buyer will replace Watson's name with his own.
 
Archaeologists Uncover 2000-Year-Old Sculpture Depicting Unknown Roman God
For now at least, he's the God of Archaeology.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Pizza Hut Testing Menu That
Tracks Eye Movements to
Determine What You Want

“Subconscious Menu” can instantly detect that you're craving a club sandwich, onion rings and the waitress's ass.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
NHTSA Criticizes Chrysler for Not Expanding Recalls of Cars With Defective Passenger-Side Airbags
Company says passengers should ride in back seat.

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