Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 15 - 21, 2014
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PEOPLE
Rick Perry: Running for President “Not an IQ Test”
You just have to look smart.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Bob Dylan to Record Album
Of Frank Sinatra Hits

Comedy album will include “Chicago,” “Love and Marriage,” “I Did It My Way.”
 
BUSINESS
Toy-Related Injuries Have
Risen 40% Since 1990

Including those sustained during Black Friday riots at Toys “R” Us.
Fewer Firms Plan Holiday
Parties in 2014

Some employees havenít shown up for work since embarrassing themselves at last yearís party.
General Mills Bringing Back French Toast Crunch
As American tastes shift to more fattening foods.
SCIENCE
Rover Finds Evidence of
Lakes Once on Mars

No other explanation for snorkels, bait shops.
NASA Observes Two Massive Stars About to Collide
Once they do, it's “every man for himself.”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Regulators Estimate Consumers Will Suffer Up to $5.27 Billion in “Lost Pleasure” Because Restaurant Menus List Calorie Counts
A fact that in and of itself compels one to eat a dozen cronuts.
Spending Bill Adds White Potatoes to Gov't Nutritional Program for Women, Infants, Children
Because everyone needs their minimum daily requirement of starch.

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