Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 19 - 25, 2015
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PEOPLE
Gearing Up for Run in 2016, Romney Focuses on Poverty, Income Inequality
He's for them.
Cincinnati Bartender Planned to Poison Boehner's Drink
Then tan him on tanning bed “beyond recognition.”
 
BUSINESS
Plunge in Price of Bitcoin
Worries Some

Who fear it could go way of the ruble.
Caesars Entertainment Forced
To File for Bankruptcy

Had put its $18.4 billion in debt on black, but it came up red.
UBS to Pay $14.4 Million to Settle Suit About Its “Dark Pool” Investments
About “Dark Poll Investments,” the less explained, the better.
Apple Watch Details Leaked
It can tell time, says one source.
SCIENCE
Artificial Intelligence Experts
Sign Open Letter to Protect
Mankind From Machines

Then suddenly vanish without a trace.
Kepler Space Telescope Finds
Eight New Earth-Sized Planets in Habitable Zone of Host Stars

Each has submitted a bid for the 3024 Olympics.
Beagle 2 Lander, Sent to Mars to Look for Signs of Life, Discovered After Being Missing for 14 Years
Sign attached: “$5, OBO.”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Californians Can Now Find Out How Their Hospital Ranks for Objects Left Inside Patients After Surgery
If they're sure they really want to know.
Study: Americans Will Eat 6,000
Slices of Pizza in a Lifetime

Which, for Americans, is now 24.2 years.

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