Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 9 - 15, 2015
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MISCELLANEOUS
Illinois Congressman Accused of Using Campaign Funds to Turn New Office Into “Downton Abbey”
Spent $10,000 alone on tea.
 
MEDIA
Brian Williams Takes Hiatus
After Hes Caught in
Embarrassing On-Air Lies

Will use time to make some corrections in his memoirs.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Some Car Engines' Roar Now
Augmented by Sound Effects
From Stereo

Crashes also augmented, with added screams.
 
SPORTS
Plus-Sized Model Added to Latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
Plus-sized, as in normal.
PEOPLE
  Manson Wedding Delayed
As Marriage License Expires

Fortunately, gifts can be returned for refund or store credit.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Doubts Raised About Discovery
Of To Kill a Mockingbird Sequel

Doubts also raised about Catch-23.
Bottle of McDonald's Secret Sauce Attracts Bid of $18,000 on Ebay
By a man of great wealth and poor taste.
Four Surviving Magna Cartas Displayed on Its 800th Anniversary
Anyone caught stealing them will be granted a speedy trial by a jury of his peers.

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