Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MARCH 2 - 8, 2015
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PEOPLE
Trump Says He's “Serious” About Running in 2016
In response to question, “You're kidding, aren't you?”
 
MEDIA
Bill Bites Back
Barks, bellows, bullies, bloviates.
 
BUSINESS
FCC Approves New Rules to Treat Net as Public Utility
Furious opponents prefer net controlled by your cable company, which still has you on hold.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
First Girl Scout Cookie Oven to Hit Shelves Soon
Perfect for little girls who love Girl Scout cookies but hate the Girl Scouts.
SCIENCE
NASA Spacecraft Spots Two Mysterious Lights Coming From Dwarf Planet Ceres
Will ask finalists for one-way Mars trip if they'd be interested in going to Ceres.
Black Hole Discovered 12 Billion Times More Massive Than the Sun
In other words, it's too big to fail.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
First Human Head Transplant
Could Happen in Two Years

As soon as legal issue of whether head belongs to body or body belongs to head is resolved.
 
FACTOID
99.83% of All Climate Scientists Believe in Man-Made Global Warming
The remaining 0.17% serve on the board of ExxonMobil.

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