Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 13 - 19, 2015
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PEOPLE
British PM David Cameron Caught Eating Hot Dog With Knife and Fork
Later he's caught eating a banana with a spoon.
 
HISTORY
Revealed: JFK Serenaded to Sleep by Phone Calls From Judy Garland
Awakened by phone calls from Ethel Merman.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
England: School Principals Threaten to Report Parents to Police if Their Kids Play “Grand Theft Auto”
And demand a stiff sentence if the kid keeps running over prostitutes.
 
BUSINESS
Starbucks Expands Two-Year
Tuition-Free College Program
For Employees

And all the coffee they need to cram for finals.
Amazon Cleared to Begin Testing Drone Deliveries
Be prepared to duck.
SCIENCE
Large Hadron Collider Back
Online After Upgrades

Scientists hope to discover nature of dark matter, what happened to all the antimatter, and what does it matter?
NASA Scientist Predicts
“Definitive Evidence” of
Alien Life in Next 20 Years

Followed by new wave of outsourcing jobs.
 
Brontosaurus Once Again Classified as a Dinosaur
It was improperly classified as a pet when “The Flintstones” debuted.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New Study: Strenuous Exercise May Not Be Bad for You After All
Finding comes after author of old study had to flee angry mob that stopped exercising because of him.
Study: Amphetamine-Like Substance Found in Diet Pills, Sports Supplements
Thin, athletic researchers completed study in record time.

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