Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 11 - 17, 2015
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PEOPLE
Putin Issues Generalized Threat to Go Nuclear
Strategy: maintain reputation as paranoid crazy person who could do anything at any time for any reason.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Natalie Portman to Play Ruth Bader Ginsburg in Upcoming Biopic
Also in cast: Jennifer Lopez as Sonia Sotomayor, Joe Pesci as Antonin Scalia.
 
BUSINESS
Whole Foods Stock Down 10% After Plans Announced for “Hip-Cool” Stores Catering to Millennials
Millennials think “hip-cool” is catering to their grandparents.
Consumer Confidence Index
Down Sharply

National Xanax shortage blamed.
McDonald's Bringing Back Hamburglar
Did somebody say, "desperate?"
SCIENCE
Earliest Ancestor of Modern Birds Found
It is believed to have gotten earliest ancestor of modern worm.
World's Oldest Copy of Ten Commandments Goes on Display in Israel
Complete with changes, corrections, revisions, deletions.
Egypt Wants to Rebuild Lighthouse of Alexandria
Already has Library of Alexandria, on a flash drive.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Breakthrough: Researchers
Discover Way to Keep Cells
Young, Reverse Aging

They all expect to be very rich and stay young forever.

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