Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 29 - JULY 5, 2015
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PEOPLE
Trump Pays Actors $50 to Cheer at His Campaign Kickoff
Pays poll participants $10 to say they support him.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Disney World Bans Selfie Sticks
Park visitors must now engage other humans and ask them to kindly take their picture.
 
BUSINESS
General Mills Removing All Artificial Ingredients From Its Cereals by 2017
Cereals made entirely from artificial ingredients (Trix, Lucky Charms) will be discontinued.
Techies Drinking Protein
Smoothies Instead of Eating
To Save Time at Work

And to forestall their inevitable replacement by an algorithm.
Walmart Stops Selling Confederate Flag Merchandise
And removes it from their official stationery.
SCIENCE
Methane Discovered on Mars Suggests Life Below Surface
Perhaps technologically advanced, super-intelligent cows.
Bad News: Rate of Loss of Species Now Constitutes 6th Mass Extinction
Good news: several blockbuster Sixth Mass Extinction movies coming soon to theater near you.
Powerful Radar Reveals Mounds, Chapels, Shrines, Other Structures Beneath Stonehenge
Supports theory that thousands of years ago it was an even bigger tourist attraction.
NASA Says Pyramid on Mars “Just a Rock”
“And sometimes a cigar is just a cigar,” counter skeptics.
DNA Tests of 40,000-Year-Old Human Jawbone Indicates We Have Some Neanderthal Ancestors
On your in-laws' side.

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