Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 13 - 19, 2015
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PEOPLE
Mexican Drug Kingpin 'El Chapo' Escapes From Maximum Security Prison for Second Time
Retrieved some personal items left behind making first escape.
 
BUSINESS
Americans Will Spend $60 Billion
This Year on Their Pets

We love not wisely, but too well.
Trucker Shortage Prompts Call to Let 18-Year-Olds Drive Big Rigs
They're mature, have long attention spans, never text, talk, blast music or do anything distracting.
 
TRAVEL
New Airline Seating Plan Called “Economy Class Cabin Hexagon”
Designed to efficiently accommodate greater number of angry, miserable, dehumanized passengers.
SCIENCE
People Who Use Twitter on Daily Basis More Likely to Masturbate Every Day
And vice versa.
Survey Finds Top Two Cities for Adultery: Austin, Texas, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
Pittsburgh???
Three Monkeys' Brains, Connected to Computer, Work in Tandem to Move Animated Objects
Researchers hope to connect infinite number of monkeys' brains to write Shakespeare, or a sellable screenplay.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Playing Tetris Blocks Out Traumatic Flashbacks
Unless you were once knocked unconscious by a bunch of falling boxes.
Report: Leading Psychologists Protected U.S. Torture Program
In exchange for overnight stay at White House.

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