Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUG 31 - SEP 6, 2015
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PEOPLE
Trump: I'd
Pick Sarah Palin for My Administration

She'd be a “great” receptionist.
 
INTERNET
Report: People Have Stopped
Using “LOL”in Their Online
Correspondence

Replaced it with “Cease and Desist.”
 
BUSINESS
Napa Valley Wine Train Apologizes to Black Women Kicked Off for “Disturbing Other Passengers”
Now says it was because they were “drinking Merlot.”
GM, in Tough Contract Talks, Threatens UAW With Importing Buicks Made in China
UAW threatens GM with overthrow of government, nationalization of auto industry, reeducation of GM's execs.
FDA Warns Tobacco Companies Over Claims Their Cigarettes Are “Additive-Free,” and “Natural”
Also that “9 out of 10 doctors” recommend them.
CONSUMER NEWS
Consumer Reports: Every
Sample of Tested Ground Beef
Contained Fecal Matter

Conclusion: never, ever, order a burger at the Consumer Reports cafeteria.
 
SCIENCE
Only 35% of Published Studies Deemed Credible
Says study.
 
12,000 Wait in Long Lines at Denver Botanic Gardens to Smell Blooming Corpse Flower
Because the morgue was closed.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Osaka Study: Watching 5 Hours
Of TV a Day Could Kill You

Findings to be laid out in a six-hour documentary on PBS this fall.
New Finding: You Don't Have to Drink Eight Glasses of Water a Day
Another new finding: you don't have to believe everything you hear.

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