Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPT 14 - 20, 2015
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PEOPLE
Billionaire Fugitive From Justice John McAfee Says He's Running for President
In hopes of receiving Secret Service protection.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Some Theaters to Begin Presenting Hologram Performances
Holograms have smaller entourages, make fewer backstage demands.
 
BUSINESS
After Federal Probe Revealed, United Airlines CEO Steps Down, But Will Retain Parking Privileges for Life
Even while in prison.
McDonald's Plans to Use Eggs From Only Cage-Free Hens
And Big Macs from only happy cows.
Chain of Computerized Automats With No Servers or Cooks Planned
Providing peek at a future with zero percent employment.
SCIENCE
Remains of Entirely New Human Ancestor Discovered
New species, new features, new accessories.
Elon Musk Proposes Nuking Mars to Transform Planet's Atmosphere
In short time it could be as hospitable as Kiev, or Fukushima.
 
Huge Stone Monument Found Buried Near Stonehenge
Scientists believe they were foundation stones for vast ancient gift shop.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Men Who Smoke
Marijuana 45% Less Likely
To Develop Bladder Cancer

Search for downside to cannabis use continues.
DoD: Bubonic Plague Bacteria Accidentally Shipped All Over World
Apologizes for unleashing second Black Death.

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   Copyright 2015 Ironic Times