Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEP 28 - OCT 4, 2015
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MISCELLANEOUS
Pope Bobblehead Dolls Sell Out Everywhere
Even God can't get one.
Study: More Deaths This Year
From Selfie-Related Incidents
Than From Shark Attacks

Most of them selfies taken during shark attacks.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Intelligent Car Seat That Detects Driver's Stress Level Could Be on Market by 2020
Flashing external lights warn other drivers when you're about to snap.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Now Starbucks Customers Can Order in Advance by Mobile App
Your order ready in minutes at all 258,343 Starbucks.
 
RELIGION
Pope Assures Atheists They Don't Have to Believe in God to Go to Heaven
However, you must believe in God to be admitted into Hell.
FEATURE
What is the best way to get rich quick?
A )Be born rich.
B )Drop out of Harvard.
C )Buy a car, any car, join class action lawsuit against manufacturer.
D )Buy a small drug company, start charging huge prices for their drugs.
E )Never miss a putt.
F )Marry a rich person.
Hint: First, you have to meet one.
 
SPORTS
MLB: Pete Rose Takes Case to Commissioner
Later meets with Pope.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Boehner Tears Up as Pope Addresses Congress
Later seen bawling during Chinese President Xi's speech.

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