Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCT 26 - NOV 1, 2015
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TECHNOLOGY
Scientists Create Robot That Can Have Babies
Ask your psychiatrist if using a robot to have a baby is right for you.
New Research Finds Cars' Voice- Activated Systems Distract Drivers
From their texting.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
House Republicans Meet to Choose Speaker Over Dinner of Chick-fil-A
Had to settle for meal symbolic of homophobia, because nothing more offensive was available.
 
POLL
Carson Leads Trump in Iowa
Voters feel he'll be tougher on Muslims and women, crueler to poor people.
 
TRAVEL
In Coming Years, Airlines to
Squeeze More Passengers Into
Same-Sized Planes

Frequent flyers advised to start losing weight now.
FEATURE
The typical Republican voter wants a President who will:
A )end Obamacare.
B )abolish the EPA.
C )make it harder for minorities to vote.
D )cut taxes for the wealthiest.
E )deport 11 million people.
F )go to war in the Middle East.
G )hasten the Apocalypse.
H )do all of these and then some.
Hint: Don't forget to tear down the wall between church and state.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Couple Spends $320K to Become Human Barbie, Ken Dolls
With no brains or genitalia.

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