Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOV 2 - 8, 2015
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TECHNOLOGY
New Website Tells Homebuyers if a House Could Be Haunted
Premium members receive cellphone alert if there are zombies in the neighborhood.
With Autonomous Cars Inevitable, Driving Schools Face Extinction
Some have begun converting to passenger schools.
Pot-Smoking Teen Hacks CIA Director's AOL Account
Receives lucrative job offer from China.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Shakespearean Scholars Unhappy With Efforts to Update Shakespeare
“If everyone can understand it, we're out of work,” says one.
 
SPORTS
American Pharoah Wins $5 Million Breeders' Cup, Retires to Stud
Jockey also hopes to retire to stud.
FEATURE
Which of the following questions will be asked at the next Republican debate?
A )Do you have a practical plan to replace Obamacare?
B )Can you balance the budget by cutting taxes?
C )Are 99 out of 100 climate scientists wrong about global warming?
D )What are some of your best qualities?
Hint: enough with the negativity.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Art Exhibit Mistaken for Trash by Museum Cleaning Woman Thrown in Dumpster
Trash mistaken for art in different museum.

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