Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – NOV 9 - 15, 2015
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PEOPLE
Pope Francis Releases Pop- Rock Album
Critics find it more upbeat, tuneful than predecessor Pope Benedict's album, “My Favorite Dirges.”
 
BUSINESS
Seattle: Amazon Opens Its First Physical Bookstore
Designed as warm, welcoming, friendly, just like the ten independent bookstores it put out of business.
Candy Crush Purchased for $6 Billion
It's now too big to fail.
McDonald's Secret Menu Revealed
You can order special items like an eight-patty Monster Mac (above), or Super-Size Quad Monster Mac with thirty-two patties (not shown).
SCIENCE
Quantum Theory, Long Derided
By Einstein, Confirmed

Those of you who bet on Einstein, time to pay up.
Astrophysicist Believes He May Have Found Evidence of a Parallel Universe
Where Nobel Prize has already been given to another astrophysicist for discovering ours.
 
NASA Puts Out Call for New Astronauts
No experience necessary.
 
HEALTH/ MEDICINE
Study: Morbidly Obese Eat
50% More French Fries Than
Average Person

Then they eat average person's leftover fries.
 
PUBLISHING
In Book, George H.W. Bush Slams “Arrogant” Rumsfeld, “Iron-Ass” Cheney
And “dim bulb” son.

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