Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 7 - 13, 2015
page two

MISCELLANEOUS
MouseMingle Debuts
Dating site for obsessed Disney fans who never seem to get asked out on second date.
Six Americans Have Been
Shot by Their Dogs

All in states that allow dogs to own guns.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Experimental Robot Teaches Itself to Walk
Next up, teaching itself to chew gum.
 
EDUCATION
Pillow Fights Banned at West
Point After Injuries

Also Rock, Paper, Scissors.
 
ENVIRONMENT
2015 on Track to Be
Hottest Year Ever

But nothing like 2016, and don't even ask about 2017.
Tafsheen Malik and Syed Farook met on a dating site. What was the profile that attracted him to her?
A )I am devout, very hot, and extremely dangerous.
B )I love long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, and explosive devices.
C )You will never see my face before we make violent love together.
Hint: also, after we are martyred together, you will be given 72 virgins in Paradise.
 
RELIGION
Jerry Falwell, Jr. Urges Students to Carry Concealed Weapons
“And, if you see the Devil, shoot him.”
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Bad News: Despite Calorie Counts on Menus, Obesity Crisis Worsens
Good news: no shortage of Santas this year.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2015 Ironic Times