Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 21 - 27, 2015
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NEW PRODUCTS
Forget Google Glass and Virtual Reality, This Thing Reads Your Mind!
The first mind-reading headset uses your brainwaves to control virtual images on a screen, meaning you can daydream your own movies. Copyright, obscenity laws still to be addressed. $349, at most head shops.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
France Passes Bill Banning “Excessively Thin“ Models
Despite fact you can never be too excessively thin or too excessively rich.
Vatican: Catholic Church No
Longer Condones or Supports
Conversion of Jews

Finds them too argumentative.
 
SPORTS
MLB Commissioner Upholds Pete Rose's Lifetime Ban
Even though he's on his oldtimers fantasy team and winning him thousands.
College Football Season Ends
Only 142 bowl games left.
FEATURE
What is this?
1.  Richmond, Virginia
2.  Birmingham, Alabama
3.  Brownsville, Texas
4.  Augusta, Georgia
5.  Jackson, Mississippi
6.  New Orleans, Louisiana
7.  Memphis, Tennessee
8.  Cleveland, Ohio
9.  Atlanta, Georgia
10.  Detroit, Michigan
A )Cities with the highest concentration of rednecks.
B )Cities with the nicest golf courses for the wealthy.
C )Most segregated cities in the United States.
D )Cities with the highest populations in need.
Hint: Trick question – choose “all of the above.”
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Playboy Publishes Final Issue With Nudity
It's a 12-page spread featuring Hugh Hefner frolicking in the buff.

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