Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 11 - 17, 2016
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PEOPLE
Trump Questions Cruz's Citizenship
Says he'll send him home to Canada if elected.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
TV: ABC Family Changes Name to Freeform
Expands audience to include ménages à trois, communes, cults.
 
SOCIAL MEDIA
Report: Twitter to Expand Maximum Tweet Length to 10,000 Characters
Still not allowed: substance, wit, cogency.
 
BUSINESS
VW May Buy Back Tens of
Thousands of Diesels Rigged
To Cheat on Emissions Tests

Sell them to Jews, gays, Gypsies.
U.S. Postal Service Issues Star Wars Stamps
Coming soon: Fifty Shades of Grey stamps.
SCIENCE
 
London Exceeds Yearly Air Polution Levels in Eight Days
Public urged to remain indoors through New Year's Eve.
 
World's First Smart Bra Debuts
Notifies all your Facebook friends when your nipples get hard.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Latest Government Eating
Guidelines Released

As expected, they include eating lots of dark chocolate, drinking eight glasses of red wine a day.
 
RELIGION
Scalia: God Good to U.S.
Because U.S. “Honors” Him

But She's not that happy with Scalia.

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