Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 25 - 31, 2016
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PEOPLE
British Judge: Putin “Probably” Approved Assassination of Former Spy
Since he drinks the same brand of radioactive tea used in the murder.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Motion Picture Academy to Double Number of Women, Minorities by 2020
And the Oscars will be held next year in Compton.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Competition Heats Up Among
Fast-Food Chains, Which Now
Offer Special Deals

Free blood thinners, EKGs, ambulance service to nearby emergency rooms.
 
BUSINESS
Twitter, in Major Shakeup, Lets Go Some of Its Top Executives
Each receives an extremely brief notice of dismissal.
SCIENCE
Only 6% of Scientists Are Republican
And they work for ExxonMobil.
A “Mirror Universe” Where Time Goes Backwards a Possibility
And, based on our politics and culture, we may be in it.
Unseen Ninth Planet Believed in Orbit Beyond Pluto
All astronomers, except a few in Missouri, accept its existence.
Scientists Successfully Bring Back to Life Animal Frozen 30 Years Ago
Immediately contact Ted Williams' heirs, Boston Red Sox.
 
POLL
10% of College Graduates Believe Judge Judy Served on Supreme Court
Fortunately, only 5% of law school graduates believe that.

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