| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 Oxford University
Won't Bow to Critics and Remove Cecil Rhodes
Monument, Despite His “Stealing Land, Massacring
Tens of Thousands of Black Africans, Imposing a
Regime of Unspeakable Labor Exploitation in the
Diamond Mines and Devising Pro-Apartheid Policies”
Because basically, they say, he was a good guy. |
|
|
Study: Cat Owners More
Neurotic Than Dog Owners
But less neurotic than sloth owners. |
| |
| LAW |
|
Study: Record 159 False
Convictions Overturned in 2015
Although many of the exonerated expect to
be falsely convicted again. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
 Estimated $4.2
Billion Bet on Super Bowl
In Newark, New Jersey alone. |
|
|
| MILESTONES |
|
 Supreme Court Marks 10 Years
Since Justice Thomas Last Said
Anything
Communicates only through charades. |
|
| |
| BREAKING NEWS |
|
 |
| |
UN Security Council Condemns
North Korea for Launching
Long-Range Rocket
Then returns to previously scheduled cocktail party. |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 World’s Highest Building, in Dubai, Has
World’s Highest Nightclub (143rd Floor)
and World’s Highest Mosque (158th Floor)
After an evening of debauchery at the
club, you can repent in the mosque. |
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