Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – MAY 9 - 15, 2016
page two

NEW PRODUCTS
KFC in Hong Kong Introduces Line of Edible Nail Polish
Finger-lickin' goodness for nailbiters, foot fetishists.
 
TRAVEL
New Erotic Theme Park, ErotikaLand, Planned for Brazil
Replaces old erotic theme park, Rio de Janeiro.
First U.S. Cruise Ship Arrives in Cuba
Bringing with it tourists, parts for a '57 Pontiac.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
World's Biggest Diamond to Go Up for Auction
It's rumored a certain presumptive nominee has already hinted it would look awfully good on the ring finger of our next First Lady.
What is this?
“We hold as undeniable truths that the governments of the various States, and of the confederacy itself, were established exclusively by the white race, for themselves and their posterity; that the African race had no agency in their establishment; that they were rightfully held and regarded as an inferior and dependent race, and in that condition only could their existence in this country be rendered beneficial or tolerable.”
A )Founding document of the KKK.
B )The Southern Racistís Bible.
C )Texas Declaration of causes for secession, February 2, 1861.
Hint: There are more important things to do than quibble about history, for example: voter suppression around Austin.
 
SPORTS
5000-1 Shot Leicester City Wins English Premier League Title
Shown: fans who bet $1000 on them react.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 ©  Copyright 2016 Ironic Times