Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 23 - 29, 2016
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PEOPLE
Trump Consults With Henry Kissinger
Wants to know everything he can about Jill St. John.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Eighties Video Game Tetris to Be Made Into Movie
Same people produced last year's clunker, Pong.
All-Nude Central Park Production of Shakespeare Gets Raves
Draws three encores.
 
BUSINESS
Uber's First Self-Driving Car Unveiled to Public
Takes “gig” out of “gig economy.”
CONSUMER NEWS
McLaren Brings Out “Downmarket” 570s for Only $518,000
For the billionaire on a budget.
 
SCIENCE
New Evidence Could Overthrow
Standard View of Quantum
Mechanics

Or not, or both, or neither.
 
Area 51 Files Will Be Made
Public if Elected, Pledges Clinton

Trump tweets he'll send extraterrestrials packing, build a wall.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New Study: Obesity May
Not Take Years Off Your Life

Excess weight counterbalanced by jolliness.
UN: Growing Environmental Threat From Animal-to-Man Diseases
Advice: always wear a condom.

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