Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 20 - 26, 2016
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PEOPLE
DNC's Trump Opposition Research Hacked, Leaked to Public
Turns out he's been married before, maybe twice.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Lethal Airbag Recall Increases
To 85 Million Cars

They're installing them in new cars faster than they can be replaced.
 
BUSINESS
SEC Approves New Stock
Exchange That Limits
Super-High Speed Trading

Prevents cleverest greedy bastards from getting leg up on not-so-clever greedy bastards.
Microsoft Developing Software
For Marijuana Industry

Infusing artificial intelligence with fuzzy logic.
Rolls-Royce Unveils Its First Driverless Car
For the man who has everything, except a chauffeur.
TRAVEL
Shanghai Disneyland Opens
After being inspected, certified “alligator-free.”
 
SCIENCE
Gravitational Waves Detected Again, Confirming Einstein's Theory
And settling lots of barroom arguments.
Periodic Table Adds Four New Elements
Kardashium, santorium, gymnasium, adnauseum.
 
POLLS
Trump's Poll Numbers Sag
A majority of women, Hispanics, African-Americans, Native Americans, Asians, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Buddhists, agnostics and atheists hate him.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, in a story about the world's largest maximum security prison, we mistakenly ran a picture of the world's largest luxury cruise ship (above). We regret the error.

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