| PEOPLE |
 |
 Trump Spent
$55,000 in Campaign Donations on 3,964 Copies
of His Book at a Single Barnes & Noble
Who says he never reads? |
|
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| MEDIA |
|
Former Host: Fox News a
“Sex-Fueled, Playboy
Mansion-Like Cult”
But otherwise “fair and balanced.” |
|
 |
| |
Oscars Consider Adding New Category
Best Performance by Political Surrogate. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
 Nephew of Colonel
Sanders Unwittingly Divulges
Secret KFC Recipe
Expected to cost company $1 billon a week in China alone. |
|
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| SCIENCE |
|
 Hawaii: “Astronauts”
Emerge From Dome, Completing Simulated
Year on Mars
When told who's running for president, they go back in dome, lock it. |
|
|
Life May Have Risen on Earth
Several Times Before
And ended just as badly. |
| |
 MIT Scientist Claims His
“Fountain of Youth” Pill Stops Aging
When washed down with two gimlets. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: Most Stressed Are People
In Their 20's, Least Stressed
Those in Their 90's
Twenty is the new ninety. |
|
Report: Drowsy Drivers as Bad
as Drunk Drivers; Drunk Drivers
as Bad as Drivers Who Text
Conclusion: stay home, watch TV. |
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