Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUG 29 - SEP 4, 2016
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PEOPLE
Trump Spent $55,000 in Campaign Donations on 3,964 Copies of His Book at a Single Barnes & Noble
Who says he never reads?
 
MEDIA
Former Host: Fox News a
“Sex-Fueled, Playboy
Mansion-Like Cult”

But otherwise “fair and balanced.”
  Oscars Consider Adding New Category
Best Performance by Political Surrogate.
 
BUSINESS
Nephew of Colonel Sanders Unwittingly Divulges Secret KFC Recipe
Expected to cost company $1 billon a week in China alone.
SCIENCE
Hawaii: “Astronauts” Emerge From Dome, Completing Simulated Year on Mars
When told who's running for president, they go back in dome, lock it.
Life May Have Risen on Earth Several Times Before
And ended just as badly.
 
MIT Scientist Claims His “Fountain of Youth” Pill Stops Aging
When washed down with two gimlets.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Most Stressed Are People
In Their 20's, Least Stressed
Those in Their 90's

Twenty is the new ninety.
Report: Drowsy Drivers as Bad as Drunk Drivers; Drunk Drivers as Bad as Drivers Who Text
Conclusion: stay home, watch TV.

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