Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 5 - 11, 2016
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PEOPLE
  Trump Releases Official Portrait
It will be displayed in all federal offices, should he win.
Ever Since Turkish Coup Attempt, Putin, Erdogan Make Nice
But calling it a bromance is a capital offense.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Director Ang Lee Experimenting
With Super-Realistic Ultra High Definition Film

So far, test audiences have run out of theaters screaming, thinking they were the film and the people on screen were real.
 
BUSINESS
EU: Apple Owes $14.5 Billion
In Back Taxes to Ireland

There's no app for that.
SCIENCE
Study: Dogs Understand Meaning and Tone of Words
They learn it reading the newspaper as puppies.
New Geological Period, Anthropocene Epoch, Began Around 1950
More specifically, during second half-hour of “Texaco Star Theater” with Milton Berle.
Geologists: World's Oldest Fossils Prove Life Existed on Earth 3.7 Billion Years Ago
3.697 billion years before Lucy fell out of her tree.
 
Closest Earth- Like Planet in Galaxy Discovered
Virgin flight scheduled, Hard Rock Hotel, Jersey Mike's Subs already under construction.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Psychological Theory "You Can Smile Your Way to Happiness" Debunked
And it leads to smiling inappropriately at solemn occasions.

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