Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 5 - 11, 2016
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MISCELLANEOUS
  London Plastic Surgeon Reveals His Composite “Perfect Face”
Offers money-back guarantee he can make you look exactly like this.
Study: Ramen More Valuable Than Cigarettes Among Prison Inmates
Inmates cite health risks associated with tobacco; mediocre quality, poor presentation of prison cuisine.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Russian Telescope Detects
Strong Signal From Star With
Planet 95 Light Years Away

Could be intelligent life responding to 95-year-old transmissions from Earth, or merely a nearby radio playing oldies.
 
EDUCATION
Georgetown to Offer
Preferential Admission
Status to Descendants of Slaves

Whether or not they can rebound and shoot.
FEATURE
From 2002 to early last year, Boeing's interceptors of the Ground-Based Midcourse Defense System (GMD) failed to destroy their test targets in six of eleven tests. As a result, the Pentagon:
A )Put the contract out to other bidders.
B )Penalized Boeing $2 billion.
C )Rewarded Boeing $2 billion for a job well done.
Hint: In the world of defense contracting, nothing succeeds like failure.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
“EpiPen Tycoon” Computer Game Soars in Popularity
As word spreads that current Mylan CEO grew up playing it.

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