Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 12 - 18, 2016
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PEOPLE
Trumps Greet Bill Clinton in Their Private Luxury Box at U.S. Open Tennis Championships
“Talked tennis, had a few drinks, played Twister,” recalls unidentified “family friend.”
 
MEDIA
Gretchen Carlson Settles Roger Ailes Sex Suit Against Fox for $20 Million and Brief Apology
Ailes gets $40 million, a wink and a nod.
 
BUSINESS
Wells Fargo Fires 5,300 Employees for Opening 2 Million Fake Accounts
Company blames “a few bad apples.”
Apple Ditches Headphone Jack in Latest iPhone
Experts predict up to one billion of the stylish new wireless “AirPods” (shown) will end up in the ocean.
SCIENCE
Experts: 20%-50% Chance We're Inside a Matrix, Reality Just a Simulation
In which case experts not really experts, published odds completely arbitrary.
  Surprise Discovery: Giraffe Actually Four Distinct Species
That just happen to look remarkably alike.
Giant Panda No Longer Listed as Endangered
Still listed as Too Cute For Words.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Scientists Identify 6th Taste to
Add to Salty, Sweet, Sour,
Bitter and Umami

Yucky.
FDA: Antibacterial Soap No Better Than Good Old Soap and Water
FDA no better than good old common sense.

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