Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 17 - 23, 2016
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CONSUMER NEWS
Soylent Bars Recalled After Customers Report Getting Violently Ill
Company assures buyers freeze-dried humans perfectly safe.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
More People Arrested for Pot Than for Violent Crimes in 2015
As a result, numerous states poised to legalize violent crime.
 
SPORTS
Washington High School Football Team, With Seven Players Over 245 Pounds, Wins First Three Games by Combined 170 - 0, Rest of Schedule Now Forfeiting
And Seattle Seahawks keep ducking them.
Trump Slams NFL's “Softer”
Rules on Concussions

Claims league purposely limiting pool of brain-damaged voters.
Opponents to an anti-smoking initiative in California have raised $56 million. They describe themselves as “a coalition of taxpayers, law enforcement, labor and small businesses.” What portion of those funds actually come from tobacco companies?
  A ) $.537 million
  B ) $5.37 million
  C ) $53.7 million
Hint: the rest comes from tobacco retailers and e-cigarette companies.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Group Establishes Asgardia, First “Space Nation”
Scientists, legal experts, visionaries see it as “great conversation starter” with women who would otherwise ignore them.

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