Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCT 31 - NOV 6, 2016
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SPECIAL FEATURE
Donald Trump's Secret Plan Revealed:
“How to Not Get Elected President”
1 )  Insult a woman.
2 )  Insult all women.
3 )  Insult the woman who's running against you for president.
4 )  Boast about sexually assaulting women while being filmed.
5 )  Insult a Republican war hero for being captured.
6 )  Insult the family of a war hero who died protecting his men.
7 )  Say racist things, then say them again and again.
8 )  Insult the competence and integrity of Republican Secretaries of State in charge of elections.
9 )  Don't open campaign offices in swing states.
10 )  Say nice things about Vladimir Putin.
11 )  Insult all United States Generals and diplomats.
12 )  Don't bother with fundraising.
13 )  Cheat on your taxes.
14 )  Brag about cheating on your taxes on TV in front of 30 million taxpayers.
15 )  Go bankrupt a few times while bragging about how rich you are.
16 )  Attack the media.
17 )  Insult a female journalist who is moderating a debate in the crudest way possible.
18 )  Attack a Fox News TV journalist moderating a debate as biased against you.
19 )  Promise to torture suspects.
20 )  Promise to torture suspects' families.
21 )  Promise to get out of NATO.
22 )  Promise to deport 11 million immigrants.
23 )  Threaten to sue all the women who have said you sexually assaulted them.
24 )  Complain the election is rigged.

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