Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 14 - 20, 2016
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TRAVEL
Germans Ambivalent About Recently Opened Model of Hitler's Underground Bunker, a Popular Tourist Attraction
Particularly with Trump's transition team.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
One Hundred Million Eligible
Voters Didn't Vote

Their top three excuses: sick; forgot; threatening phone call from man with Russian accent.
 
SPORTS
NFL Might Shorten Games
To Woo Back Viewers

Closer to the twelve total minutes of actual action.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Robot Surgeon So Accurate It Can Remove Cataracts
Home version can peel you a grape.
FEATURE
19: What does this number represent?
A )As of November 7th, number of homicides in Montreal in 2016.
B )Number of homicides in Chicago last weekend.
C )Both A) and B)
Hint: Must be a lot of good guys with guns preventing homicides in Montreal.
 
RELIGION
Increasing Demand for Exorcists
Priests must juggle exorcisms with day-to-day pedophilia.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Eva Braun's Panties Sold at Auction for $3,600
To same buyer who purchased J. Edgar Hoover's bra.

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